5 Things to Say When Someone Asks You Why You Aren't Drinking

I mean yeah, saying “I’m an alcoholic” is a totally acceptable response, but sometimes maybe you don’t feel like going there… and that’s totally okay too.

Here five other things you can say when you don’t feel like labeling yourself for whatever reason. 

One: Mercury is in retrograde. 

This is probably my favorite thing to say, especially here in the high country where there are a lot of people who will either not question it at all, or totally be in on the joke.

But seriously, if you drink, maybe consider not while Mercury is in retrograde. It’s a messy time already as is with out a layer of booze.

Two: Drinking is a form of mind control and makes it easier to be manipulated.

The government and big corporations want you to drink. Why do you think there is so much alcohol product placement in movies and tv shows. Next time you are watching reality tv, look at the labels. Notice how they are always in view? We are constantly being sold this idea that alchol makes us cool, sexy, fun.

Who's does this actually benefit? Because in reality drinking makes us vulnerable, sleepy, and easy to manipulate. People who think that is sexy, fun, and cool are predators and their potential victims.

Three: I’m trying to save money.

Alcohol is expensive! And it’s not just the drink. The more we consume, the lower our inhibitions get and the more likely we are to spend money on party favors, fourth meal, cigarettes, etc.

Also alcohol is a depressant and when we feel bad about ourselves we are way more likely to spend money on trying to improve. FUN FACT: You already have everything you need to be exactly who you want. 

Four: It causes cancer.

No seriously, it’s like just as bad as cigarettes and no one is talking about it.

It’s a Class 1 Carcogen. It's linked to multiple cancers including: lung, kidney, liver, breast, and colon cancer.

Despite what propaganda preaches, no amount of drinking is good for your health. 

Five: I’m allergic.

If you want to follow up with the ole classic, “I break out in… (insert punchline)”. Favorite punchlines include but are not limited to: handcuffs, hives, or shame. 

This is a legit reason not to drink though and most peoole won't question it at all. It's a more common allergy then people think and a lot of folks in our community this is the legit reason why they dont drink alcohol.

Please add your favorite retorts to this grating question in the comments.

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Cheers and thank you for reading!

Hollis Rose,

Founder of Sober Sojourn